THE Premier, Barry O’Farrell, and
the Transport Minister, Gladys Berejiklian, are chatting before a press conference when they are joined by Duncan Gay, the Roads Minister.
Gay: Hi, Glad. Hi, Premier. Well, folks, here it is, the transport master plan, hot off the press. I’ve got a whole boxful.
O’Farrell: Look at these little beauties, would you? Eighteen months in the making. This, dear colleagues, is what the O’Farrell government is all about.
Gay: Glossy wish-lists that we won’t be around to deliver on?
O’Farrell: No! This is tangible evidence of a government getting on with the job. This is a plan. A long-term plan. In fact, this is more than a plan, this is a MASTER plan. We are the masters of the universe … of plans.
Berejiklian: Labor released quite a few transport plans, too, Barry.
O’Farrell: Those were written on the backs of envelopes before a press conference. This is different.
Berejiklian: How so?
O’Farrell: For a start, this wouldn’t fit on the back of an envelope. Look at it. It’s 368 pages and weighs two kilos.
Berejiklian: So I guess we don’t need any more plans.
Gay: What about Nick Greiner? Isn’t he announcing a plan in a few weeks?
O’Farrell: Er, yeah. Well, for the moment, this is the plan. Now look, the press is going to want to drill down into the minutiae of this thing. They love pesky details.
Gay: You mean like how we’re going to fund any of it and what we will build first?
Berejiklian: How about I just keep rabbiting on about Labor’s 16 years of failure regardless of the question?
O’Farrell: That’s why I love you, Glad. And for God’s sake, Duncan, don’t mention the word ”tolls”.
Gay: But the plan commits us to a trial of network-wide distance tolling.
O’Farrell: See this word ”draft” in front of ”plan”? We’re at a draft stage and nothing is set in stone. Nothing is current government policy. I love that phrase.
Gay: OK, but I think they will want to know why there is no reference to a second Sydney airport.
O’Farrell: That’s an easy one. I will not impose more aircraft noise on our most important marginal electorates – I mean the people of western Sydney – and I am very much committed to high-speed rail to Canberra.
Berejiklian: But there’s no reference to high-speed rail in the plan.
O’Farrell: Hmm, you don’t think I seem committed enough?
Berejiklian: It’s a 20-year master plan, Barry. This is going to guide everything we do until, well, until Greiner puts out his plan.
O’Farrell: Duncan, hand me that red pen. I’m sure one more dotted line on this map won’t hurt.
This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on Nanjing Night Net.