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Speaking of drafts and delays …

September 12th, 2019 / / categories: 南京夜网 /

THE Premier, Barry O’Farrell, and
Nanjing Night Net

the Transport Minister, Gladys Berejiklian, are chatting before a press conference when they are joined by Duncan Gay, the Roads Minister.

Gay: Hi, Glad. Hi, Premier. Well, folks, here it is, the transport master plan, hot off the press. I’ve got a whole boxful.

O’Farrell: Look at these little beauties, would you? Eighteen months in the making. This, dear colleagues, is what the O’Farrell government is all about.

Berejiklian: Navel-gazing?

O’Farrell: No!

Gay: Glossy wish-lists that we won’t be around to deliver on?

O’Farrell: No! This is tangible evidence of a government getting on with the job. This is a plan. A long-term plan. In fact, this is more than a plan, this is a MASTER plan. We are the masters of the universe … of plans.

Berejiklian: Labor released quite a few transport plans, too, Barry.

O’Farrell: Those were written on the backs of envelopes before a press conference. This is different.

Berejiklian: How so?

O’Farrell: For a start, this wouldn’t fit on the back of an envelope. Look at it. It’s 368 pages and weighs two kilos.

Berejiklian: So I guess we don’t need any more plans.

O’Farrell: Correct.

Gay: What about Nick Greiner? Isn’t he announcing a plan in a few weeks?

O’Farrell: Er, yeah. Well, for the moment, this is the plan. Now look, the press is going to want to drill down into the minutiae of this thing. They love pesky details.

Gay: You mean like how we’re going to fund any of it and what we will build first?

O’Farrell: Exactly.

Berejiklian: How about I just keep rabbiting on about Labor’s 16 years of failure regardless of the question?

O’Farrell: That’s why I love you, Glad. And for God’s sake, Duncan, don’t mention the word ”tolls”.

Gay: But the plan commits us to a trial of network-wide distance tolling.

O’Farrell: See this word ”draft” in front of ”plan”? We’re at a draft stage and nothing is set in stone. Nothing is current government policy. I love that phrase.

Gay: OK, but I think they will want to know why there is no reference to a second Sydney airport.

O’Farrell: That’s an easy one. I will not impose more aircraft noise on our most important marginal electorates – I mean the people of western Sydney – and I am very much committed to high-speed rail to Canberra.

Berejiklian: But there’s no reference to high-speed rail in the plan.

O’Farrell: Hmm, you don’t think I seem committed enough?

Berejiklian: It’s a 20-year master plan, Barry. This is going to guide everything we do until, well, until Greiner puts out his plan.

O’Farrell: Duncan, hand me that red pen. I’m sure one more dotted line on this map won’t hurt.

This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on Nanjing Night Net.

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